2 Samuel 18:5-33; Ephesians 4:25—5:2

Last week we began the story of David’s decline from the place of honour before God, where at the height of his glory as king of Israel and beloved of The Father he lets his lust distract him, and all that he has acquired from God has begun to be taken away. In the rape of Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah David’s own soul has been raped and murdered too, and even as he remains alive in body and in spirit, he is in a weakened state in both of those domains. Today the story of David’s decline continues.

First, a brief catch up between scenes. Two weeks ago, you heard about David’s theft of Uriah’s wife and life, and then last week you heard about God’s judgement on this saga through the prophecies of Nathan. The bits of 2 Samuel we are skipping between last week and this week tell us about the death of Bathsheba’s baby (the child of the rape) but then the birth of Solomon as a child of consolation to Bathsheba and David. Then there is the story of David’s son Amnon raping his hot half-sister Tamar, and of  Tamar’s full brother Absalom murdering Amnon in revenge. We’ll be hearing more about Absalom today, so keep him in mind. Also keep in mind that Absalom is David’s firstborn son, and all that that should mean for a father who is also a king. Anyway, Absalom runs away after the murder, but then is called back with the promise of forgiveness but also of banishment: he’s allowed to live without threat, but he may not see his father, David.

After two years of banishment have passed and with no sign of this lifting Absalom gets annoyed and more annoyed still; so, with a bit of gratuitous arson to seal the deal Absalom convinces Joab (one of David’s generals) to intervene and he finally gets an audience with David. Father and son are reconciled, hugs and kisses follow, and all seems right with the world again. Except that it isn’t, because Absalom then decides he’d be a better advocate for the people than David is himself, so he sets up a little clinic outside the palace and gets people to ask him for royal solutions to local problems rather than going to the king in person; making out that the king is unapproachable, but Absalom is everyone’s BFF. Once he has the numbers Absalom fakes a religious visit to Hebron, in theory to pay out a vow of thanks to God but in reality, to gather his forces and launch a coup. Ultimately the coup sees David flee Jerusalem and Absalom capture the city, at which point Absalom is proclaimed king by the rebels, including one of Saul’s grandsons to whom David had earlier shown kindness. (This last point is probably based on a lie, but David is so confused and suspicious by this point that doesn’t know his heart from his elbow, and he goes along with it and utterly shafts someone who was almost certainly innocent and probably an ally. Oh, and he’s disabled so not much of a threat even if it was true.) Finally, David is getting the upper hand and as we draw close to today’s reading Absalom is now on the run against the turning tide.

Phew! So, in 2 Samuel 18:5 we read that David has asked his military leadership to be kind to Absalom when they capture him. David had intended to go out to war with his army in its pursuit, but the commanders of Israel’s armies had told him to stay out of it and remain in the camp in the safe city of Mahanaim. As it happens Absalom’s forces are defeated without David’s leadership in the field, and the rebellious crown-prince is murdered and then butchered (2 Samuel 18:15). David’s generals had spoken in 2 Samuel 18:3 in terms of “no, you’re the king and a precious life, you stay safe and send us reinforcements if we fall. Even if half of us are killed, that would be okay so long as you are safe; but you are the king and the loss of you would be devastating;” more likely they were thinking “try to keep the sooky old bloke at home, we know how to deal with rebels and we don’t need his daddy getting in the way”. This is exactly what we read in 2 Samuel 18:12-14, so just as we heard with last week’s theme things have fallen apart for David; he is no longer respected as king nor honoured as a military mind; and things have escalated to the place where mercy is no longer in the way of David’s men. Where David continually spared the life of Saul back in the day, Joab goes straight for the helpless but still alive Absalom with a handful of spears, and then sets ten men upon the wounded prince to finish the job. And then what, well in 2 Samuel 18:33 we read what everyone knew all along, David is a sooky old bloke and daddy whose fatherhood of Absalom would have got in the way of his kingship of Israel. Where the king should celebrate the decimation of the rebellion and the death of the usurper, the dad is distraught. What a collapse, what a soapishly operatic family, what a messed-up kingdom.

And to my way of thinking, what a failure as a father. Okay so he’s more concerned about his boy than his throne, and therefore has put his fatherhood in front of his kingship, but isn’t that a good thing? Well clearly it isn’t, because the kingdom is a mess, and if we were to read on to 2 Samuel 19:2 we find that even the victorious army is sobbing like it’s a defeat because the king is in grief. But let’s also remember where this little blitzkrieg all began, with Absalom avenging the rape of Tamar against Amnon. Perhaps if David had shown greater compassion and righteous anger concerning his daughter in her time of grief and humiliation, then his sons would not have gone to war with each other in the first place. If Absalom had seen David stand up with righteousness on behalf of Tamar, and the justice of The LORD, or even demonstrated a deeper understanding of how David’s rape of Bathsheba had set a bad example for Amnon in the first place and a better lesson could have be shown for the princes of the land, Absalom would not have felt the need to take vengeance into his own hands. Instead, David tries to hush the rape of Tamar as much as he did the rape of Bathsheba, and it has cost him two sons and a civil war over the space of almost two decades. (There’s about 15 years between 2 Samuel 12 and 2 Samuel 19.)

There is divine justice here it seems as, finally, everyone gets what he deserves. Absolom is a murderer and a traitor, and he is essentially murdered and executed.  David is a weak father, and a weak leader, who lives to see his kingdom and his family ruined because of his failings. The judgement of God is fair and painful, it is also relentless in that everything Nathan foretold came to be. So, it can be a little hard to make the transition to the stories of grace in the Christian Traditions, especially where Paul writes be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love as Christ loved us (Ephesians 5:1-2). How much of God’s love is seen in the story of David and his family?

Truth is the winner of both of our stories this morning. Paul writes to Ephesus that they should put away falsehood and speak the truth to neighbours; but this is more than just avoiding lies and creativity in conversation. Be angry but do not sin writes Paul in Ephesians 4:26, in other words be honest and open, do not bottle-up or squash down what it true and real, but don’t let it destroy you either. Do what is right, direct your best talents to the best way of using them; literally re-direct your criminal actions into honourable ones Paul writes in Ephesians 4:28-29. If you once excelled at making shivs in gaol then get a job as a knifemaker with the blacksmith upon your release; if you have an acid tongue then learn to turn it upon injustice and to build up the downtrodden. Get a job at Uniting and advocate for those left behind in our fast-paced society. Think of how differently things might have been in David’s family if brothers and sons and daughters and fathers could speak openly and honestly with each other. Imagine that David had set a better example and been honest in all of his dealings not only with Bathsheba but with Tamar. Imagine even with a lack of godly piety and self-sacrifice in the royal family that there had been simple kindness as a minimum (Ephesians 4:32). It’s about 3000 years too late for David and Absolom, but it’s exactly the right time for us.

There was no need for things to escalate like they did for David, but then we have Paul and Christ Godself with us to advise us of the better way. Granted that David had Nathan, and The LORD’s own ear, but I’m trying to be kind. Importantly for Paul, and this seems to have been missed by David, we are all members of the one body (Ephesians 4:25). For David and his sons and daughter we are speaking of an actual family, for us we have the fictive kinship of the Body of Christ wherein we are sister-brothers and neighbours together: the point is we belong with and to each other and to God. Check your desires and your emotions, do what you can so that it does not fall apart every now and then; be gracious for those for whom this has just happened, especially if it’s yourself.

It can be difficult to show grace and forgiveness when sinned against. When Tamar could not defend herself Amnon stepped up, and then Absolom was slighted. Then David slighted all of them by his poor decisions.  We know that The Spirit knows pain, the evidence is in Ephesians 4:30 that God grieves with us when we are aggrieved by the selfishness and thoughtlessness of others. Let us not also grieve God, but join with God in lamentation and intercession, and then in selflessness and grace.

I am confident that I will see the goodness of God while I am alive, is my favourite Bible verse, Psalm 27:13. This idea supported me through a brief (but much too long) period of homelessness twenty-one years ago; including a week  spent in hostel sleeping by night, and lurking in the public library and the soup kitchens by day. Later, when I had secured safer housing, (which was actually couch surfing with one trustworthy friend from my new church), I watched one of my mates from the hostel taken away by the Police from the local IGA for shoplifting. “Why didn’t you ask me for money, or food?” I asked him, “you saw I was here.” “Agh, sorry Damien,” he said, “but it was smokes and whisky I stole this time”. May we not sin in our anger at injustice, as Absolom did; but speak our pain with honesty to those who can bring change, so did those who came to him later. Maybe that’s the king, maybe that’s The LORD, maybe that’s your dad, or maybe that’s your own heart.

Amen.